Are Laments Really Ok?
Have you ever lamented to God before?
Truly say that you
have let Him into your deepest and darkest moments and cried out to Him? The
concept of lamenting to God is not something that I had truly personally
experienced before until university. Certainly, I had my frustrations (usually
about other people) in which I shared freely with God in prayer, but never had
I ever really lamented to God. I
mean, He’s…God: the Almighty and Holy One.
However, the more I read of Scripture, the more I believe
that this idea is not complete in and of itself. There were many instances of
people lamenting to God in the Bible, whether about God or about the
circumstances in which He placed them in, from fully-sound and righteous
people. Moses lamented to God, trying to find as many excuses as possible to
not be the one to lead the Israelites out of Egypt (Exodus 3), and later
complained to God about how unbearably annoying these freed Israelites were (Numbers 11).
Job lamented to God about the state that he was in, crying out and telling God
of his anguish and frustration and God’s silence (Job 30). The entire book of
Psalms, David is credited with multiple Psalms of complaints to God about his
circumstances and of him telling God to quickly punish his enemies (often
wishing for their defeat, punishment or death). And if not proof enough, the entire
book of Habakkuk and Lamentations are prayers of complaints and laments to God.
I love all these instances in the Bible. To me, they show
how real these people really were. Through the fallacies, fears, frustrations,
anger and even hatred displayed in these prayers and laments, I can believe
that they really existed and am able to catch a glimpse of something real, which
make them so precious and relatable.
Last summer I went through what I thought was an extremely
trying time in my faith. I was experiencing some relationship problems with
family and romantically and tensions were high. There were many thoughts of doubt
and disbelief overtook me. Many negative emotions and thoughts filled my mind
daily and I felt attacked from every angle. I remember one specific night in
which I was so lost and in despair. Many negative emotions filled me that night
and my mind was swirling with confusion and desperation. It was that night that
I learned what it meant to lament.
No need for formalities, no need for “Dear God, thank you
for this day….” Just a deep, painstaking cry from the heart. All I could manage
was “God, help me. Tell me what to do; I don’t know what to do” as huge fat blobs
of tears, sweat and snot rolled down my face.
I was angry, frustrated, desperate, hopeless, joyless and I
just let Him have it. I sobbed and sobbed until I had no more energy left. I
was angry and frustrated at God and told Him so. I yelled at Him, cried in
front of Him and was completely open in all of my emotions and just let it all
out. Truth be told, I don’t quite recall some supernatural thing happening
after that prayer, but I’ll always remember that night.
It was after the fact that I realized that when we lament to
God, it takes a whole burden off our hearts. Prior to that, I never really openly complained to God or told Him that
I was angry and frustrated at certain circumstances or at Him, or how
frustrated and negative I felt about certain people. But now I realize that by
holding out on these emotions, my relationship with Him was not complete in
richness.
Can we honestly say that the people closest to us haven’t
seen us mad, frustrated and angry at them? If we feel free to display these
emotions to our close ones, why not to God, the One who made us, the One whom
we should feel the closest to?
There is nothing
that is capable of blocking your communication with God and anyone telling you
otherwise is lying. The fact is, we can tell Him anything and everything that's
on our hearts. This revelation should be such a relief! He knows all our emotions
already and knows that we are capable of these emotions since He's the one that
made us! This revelation should also be such a lift-your-hands-and-praise-Jesus
moment since this means as His children, we are able to communicate to the One True
God!! In fact, it’s even stated in Hebrews that we can “boldly enter heaven’s
Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus” (10:19).
God is forever faithful, and He gave me what I needed at
that time, and eventually, showed me a way out of my situation. My personal
experience reminded me of a clip that I had seen from the Forgotten God DVD
series by Francis Chan. In this little segment, Francis illustrates the kind of
open communication relationship we should have with our Heavenly Father through
using his own communication with his daughter as an example.
After that summer night, after that prayer, I really feel
like God wasn’t simply a guest or even a close friend in my life anymore. He is
now in a place that’s beyond these relationships, and into something much
deeper and closer. Admittedly, it wasn’t all pretty; in fact there was a lot of
anger and resentment inside of me, hatred even. I let Him see every part of me,
the good, the bad, and the terrible. But I know that God is not fazed by these
things, and that His blood has paid the price for this amazing and free
relationship we are able to now experience with Him.
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