Exploring Envy
This
past year was mentally tough for me. I was feeling uneasy, unhappy and
incomplete most of the times. It was plain hard to feel joy as resentment was
taking over me internally. Admittedly, I was struggling with envy. I coveted what others had, and as
a result, I constantly felt like what I had was not good enough. When others
had great things lined up for them, it was hard for me to be entirely happy for
them. My dissatisfaction with lot of things constrained me and my heart could
not simply rejoice.
The practice of showing
everything to the world on social media nowadays is becoming almost instinctive,
which makes it so easy to feel miserable about our lives. I believe this is
because social media is best at only highlighting the best moments of our lives
and hiding everything else. All of this showmanship can be deceptive if we aren’t
able to discern and realize that life isn’t as perfect as it appears, causing
us to be prone to covetousness. Nonetheless, that’s not the root of the
problem; instead it is our heart and mindset that need to be fixed.
“Greater Things Are Gonna
Happen to You” Pep Talk Is Not the Solution
In dealing with envy, I’ve heard people “encouraging” others or themselves by saying that their time will come and that they will eventually become prosperous and that greater things are ahead in the future. They try to assure others with promises that they will someday get to enjoy whatever it is that they hope for (or even more than that).
In dealing with envy, I’ve heard people “encouraging” others or themselves by saying that their time will come and that they will eventually become prosperous and that greater things are ahead in the future. They try to assure others with promises that they will someday get to enjoy whatever it is that they hope for (or even more than that).
However, I believe that this type of “encouragement” does
not solve envy because we are simply not
in control of the future, so things don’t necessarily go our way. You might
not get the scholarship your friend received or the promotion at work that you were
waiting for. Placing your trust in the unknown and unpredictable future is an
unstable foundation. If things do not go your way, the discontentment and impact
is greater.
The ugly truth is that we mask our envy by comforting
ourselves with this “encouragement”. So if you ever start using this type of
thinking to self-comfort and encourage, it may be setting yourself up for a
greater disappointment on uncertain hopes.
Are You Thankful
Enough?
“The grass on the other side is always greener.” Ungratefulness is the most major and common reason causing the unease when (we think) we are not doing as well as others. Francis Chan shared in Chapter 10 of Crazy Love about a cheese grater serving its specific function that no other utensils can. It is unique and incomparable with other utensils as each of them is made for different purposes. This illustration reminds me of the Body of Christ – the Church. Everyone has their own part and purpose, and to focus on what others have or can do is wasting the gift and resources that God has given us to use and develop. (Romans 12:4-5)
“The grass on the other side is always greener.” Ungratefulness is the most major and common reason causing the unease when (we think) we are not doing as well as others. Francis Chan shared in Chapter 10 of Crazy Love about a cheese grater serving its specific function that no other utensils can. It is unique and incomparable with other utensils as each of them is made for different purposes. This illustration reminds me of the Body of Christ – the Church. Everyone has their own part and purpose, and to focus on what others have or can do is wasting the gift and resources that God has given us to use and develop. (Romans 12:4-5)
Try constantly looking at your life and express gratitude to
the Lord, and keep in mind that God makes us unique in our own way. We are a limited edition!
Love of Human
Approval
I was browsing on sermons online as I was desperately seeking for help to overcome envy. To my surprise, the first video that came out on top of the search result was “Our Dangerous Love Affair with Human Approval”. Curious about what it had to do with envy, I watched the short video which turned out to be an eye-opener. I had never truly realized that my ambitions to be better (than others) had got something to do with wanting to show the world that I was worthy of praises. However, that kind of drive has no end and will never satisfy us. Worldly approvals don’t last and when they’re done, they’re done. As written in 1 John 2:17, “The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever”, I was reminded that my worldly pursue is one that has no end, and to refocus my eyes to be fixed on Him.
I was browsing on sermons online as I was desperately seeking for help to overcome envy. To my surprise, the first video that came out on top of the search result was “Our Dangerous Love Affair with Human Approval”. Curious about what it had to do with envy, I watched the short video which turned out to be an eye-opener. I had never truly realized that my ambitions to be better (than others) had got something to do with wanting to show the world that I was worthy of praises. However, that kind of drive has no end and will never satisfy us. Worldly approvals don’t last and when they’re done, they’re done. As written in 1 John 2:17, “The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever”, I was reminded that my worldly pursue is one that has no end, and to refocus my eyes to be fixed on Him.
How Much We Love
Others Affects Everything
1
Corinthians 13:4 clearly says that love does not envy or boast. The verse
challenges us to love others without selfish reasons. I am again reminded of
how flawed my love is: if I can’t even simply be happy for others when good
things are happening to them, what more can be expected from me?! This is
saddening and that is unfortunately how human’s love can be. In contrast, God’s
love is perfect that He showed it when we were still sinners (Romans 5:8).
What matters the most is how much we love others. If our
love for others is so strong, then we would love them no matter what. Not to mention
that one of the Ten Commandments dictates us not to covet, highlighting how
serious the issue is, so it is a command that we do not envy.
My struggle with envy has brought me into a very deep self
exploration. It was ugly to find out all things bad from the roots of envy, but
therapeutic to be aware and cautious of what I was failing at. Then came
gratitude that God’s grace is the greatest gift that we have in this life and
our lives should revolve around living them the most God-glorifying way. Nowadays,
I try to focus on how I could be better in utilizing what God has given me and
see the bigger picture where individual gifts complement each other. It was
also humbling to know that the only one who can satisfy my soul is Him alone. God is most glorified when we are satisfied
in Him ( John Piper). He is enough for us and all-satisfying!
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