On Death and Dying
[“All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.” – Ecclesiastes 3:20]
Shortly after graduation, I was blessed enough to be able to find employment fairly quickly in a seniors care home facility. I was an administrative assistant at the Home and it was my first experience interacting with many seniors on a daily basis. I really grew to love the residents there and was privileged enough to get the chance to listen to their life stories through conversations and greetings throughout the day. It was truly an eye-opening experience for me as I sincerely enjoyed their company and their stories.
At the seniors facility, I was also tasked the role of First
Responder to the emergency calls of these residents. Every resident in our
facility was given a pendant which they are supposed to wear on them at all
times. If ever they felt any strong discomfort or needed assistance, they would
press their pendant and it would alert me as well as nurses in the facility. I
was the First Responder to the more independent residents and had to tend to
several of these residents as they experienced pain, falls and immediate
medical emergencies.
Though my time at the Home was relatively short and many of the
seniors were fairly independent - able to do their own grocery shopping, attend
activities and drive around, I nevertheless saw the moving away or passing on
of numerous residents. All these events had an impact on me since it was
definitely my first time responding to emergency calls and seeing sickness,
aging and death so up close and personal.
These instances would inevitably lead me to face the subject of
death more directly as it was something that I saw more frequently. During some
rare moments of quietness at the Home, my thoughts would seem to wander towards
these bigger questions.
As I thought more about death and dying (though this may be a
bit dispiriting to some), two things dawned on me.
Everything Hangs In The Balance
First, that death is the only viable thing that we can use
to equate with life. Ironically, it is only by thinking about death and recognizing
its inevitability and unpredictability that we seem to be able to fully live
out our life. In some strange way, death balances out life and leads us to a
more somber reflection of how we are spending our limited time here on earth.
The Bible echoes this sentiment in the Book of Ecclesiastes.
Here are Solomon’s words on the matter in Chapter 7, verse 2 (emphasis added):
It
is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of everyone;
the living should take this to heart
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of everyone;
the living should take this to heart
Why does he say that it is better to ponder on death than to
celebrate and feast? Shouldn’t it be better to celebrate and enjoy the ‘now’,
since we are all destined to die anyway? I think that since we know that the
Book of Ecclesiastes was written by Solomon when he was already well past his
prime, it can perhaps be seen as an old man reminiscing and summarizing all
that he has experienced in his lifetime. King Solomon was someone who had all
that the world had to offer at his fingertips, all the glory, riches, fame,
power, and pleasure and he’s seen it all for what it truly is – meaningless. Everything seems meaningless when compared to the inescapability of death.
Perhaps in aging, Solomon is able see death more imminently and
in a more personal way. Thus, he is taking all his life experiences to remind
the reader to think seriously upon death and to realize we are here only for a
limited time, hence he urges us to only focus on what really
matters.
I remember watching a commencement speech delivered by Steve
Jobs to the graduating class of 2005 at the prestigious Stanford University in
which he said:
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.(Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoUfvIb-9U4)
Jobs’ life and career journey prove to me that he believed and
lived by those words. I believe he constantly reminded himself that his time was
limited, as a means to sift out what was essential, and focus solely on what he
thought mattered. Anyone can see the fruit (pun intended) of his labours in his
career and inventions, fruit that only came about when he dared to take big
risks for something he believed in.
From all of this, I began thinking about my life more seriously and realized that many of my actions would look different if I were to truly live as if I have a limited time here on earth. The things that I would spend my time on and invest in would be so embarrassingly and drastically different if I really lived like the “Kingdom of God is at hand” (Mar 1:15). I fear the regret at the end, being caught off guard by all the things I didn’t do for God.
People say that “Life is short”, but I think a more appropriate statement should be “Life is limited”. Because frankly, how do you define “short” or “long”? Who is the judge of this obscure measurement that has no definitive quantity? Even if you say that “Life is short”, what else can you do on this earth that is longer than living your life? Wouldn’t it makes more sense to compare something limited (time on Earth) with something limitless (eternity afterwards)? But I guess it’s silly to quibble over terminology.
More importantly, there was a second thought that dawned on me while working at the Home, and it’s one that I have a hard time facing. I want to be cautious and sensitive with what I am about to write. Frankly, it is not with enthusiasm that I write the following words. However, I do believe that God is putting it on my heart to address the uncomfortable.
However, I am conflicted because I honestly do not believe that it is a biblical way of living (or dying). Let me explain.
It’s definitely nice to be comfortable, and well-treated and tended to, but I can’t help but think: how high should that be on our priority as a Christian? If our personal comfort is above where we place God and others, and is ultimately self-seeking, shouldn’t we challenge this notion and seriously re-examine ourselves?
I say this because during the time I worked at the Home, I witnessed many seniors who were professing men and women of faith seemingly trading in the sacrificial Christian faith they may have once known in their youth, with their own personal comfort and easy-going retirement. They go through the motions of Christianity without the passion and life it should bring about.
This type of smooth-sailing retirement lifestyle seems very culturally accepted and even encouraged among almost everyone I know. A comfortable retirement is the lifetime goal of many people, and for most, I am certain that with their successful careers and ambitious personalities, that goal will be very attainable and possible. But let’s say that you got the comfortable and great retirement that you had worked towards your whole life. What then? Upon my observations at the Home, it may not be as satisfying as you imagine. Also...what comes afterwards?
Through it all, it was as if God was showing me a fast-track version of what life looks like near the end. I really started to question what I pictured myself as fifty, sixty years down the line (God-willing that I make it that far). Was a comfortable retirement really how I saw myself at the end? Was that the place I envisioned and subconsciously planned for and expected? I felt like God was saying to me “Haven’t you learned yet that there’s nothing like the emptiness and hollow void you get after getting exactly what you insatiably desired?” All this contemplating led to a nagging feeling that arose and persisted the more I observed at the Home and read my Bible.
This type of nagging feeling happens every time I am trying to reconcile something I want to be true with what the Bible is actually saying (which is usually the opposite of what I want to hear). This feeling usually demands a change in me, either in mind, action, or both.
Upon further reflection and Bible-reading, I have really come to question the type of retirement lifestyle that is promoted and expected in our society, and perhaps the idea of comfort in general. From my reading and thinking, it seems logical to me that as you get older, you should be even more on fire for God; because you know, you’re nearing the end and it certainly won’t be long till you meet your Maker. And yet what I see being encouraged by society and others around me is instead, settling into a comfortable environment to await your Heavenly reward when your Earthly fight isn’t even over yet!
From what Paul and the apostles wrote, I have a hard time believe that they slowed down and took the easy route as they got older. In fact, it seemed as if they sped up, and were even more on fire for God in their later years than their former, since they knew they would see God sooner than ever. Paul, in his first letter to the Corinthians, compares his journey in faith to that of a runner, running to win a race (9:24). He is stretching, straining, disciplining his body and exerting all that’s in him for an eternal prize (9:27). He reuses this analogy again in his letter to the Philippians when he reiterates his focus. He pushes past things that have happened before and looks towards the future as he keeps on pressing forward toward the goal of eternity in Christ Jesus (3:14). In fact, he even says in Acts:
From all of this, I began thinking about my life more seriously and realized that many of my actions would look different if I were to truly live as if I have a limited time here on earth. The things that I would spend my time on and invest in would be so embarrassingly and drastically different if I really lived like the “Kingdom of God is at hand” (Mar 1:15). I fear the regret at the end, being caught off guard by all the things I didn’t do for God.
People say that “Life is short”, but I think a more appropriate statement should be “Life is limited”. Because frankly, how do you define “short” or “long”? Who is the judge of this obscure measurement that has no definitive quantity? Even if you say that “Life is short”, what else can you do on this earth that is longer than living your life? Wouldn’t it makes more sense to compare something limited (time on Earth) with something limitless (eternity afterwards)? But I guess it’s silly to quibble over terminology.
More importantly, there was a second thought that dawned on me while working at the Home, and it’s one that I have a hard time facing. I want to be cautious and sensitive with what I am about to write. Frankly, it is not with enthusiasm that I write the following words. However, I do believe that God is putting it on my heart to address the uncomfortable.
A Comfortable Retirement
The seniors’ home that I was working at was a great facility, offering many types of care and services to all the residents there. The staff members try their best to cater to the individual needs of the residents and have many daily games, activities, services and programs for the seniors to partake in and enjoy. They also offer lots of medical care and there is always nursing staff in the building. In short, it tries to take care of all the residents’ needs so they are as comfortable as possible. Frankly, when I age, I would love to move in to this type of seniors home and be so well taken care of.However, I am conflicted because I honestly do not believe that it is a biblical way of living (or dying). Let me explain.
It’s definitely nice to be comfortable, and well-treated and tended to, but I can’t help but think: how high should that be on our priority as a Christian? If our personal comfort is above where we place God and others, and is ultimately self-seeking, shouldn’t we challenge this notion and seriously re-examine ourselves?
I say this because during the time I worked at the Home, I witnessed many seniors who were professing men and women of faith seemingly trading in the sacrificial Christian faith they may have once known in their youth, with their own personal comfort and easy-going retirement. They go through the motions of Christianity without the passion and life it should bring about.
This type of smooth-sailing retirement lifestyle seems very culturally accepted and even encouraged among almost everyone I know. A comfortable retirement is the lifetime goal of many people, and for most, I am certain that with their successful careers and ambitious personalities, that goal will be very attainable and possible. But let’s say that you got the comfortable and great retirement that you had worked towards your whole life. What then? Upon my observations at the Home, it may not be as satisfying as you imagine. Also...what comes afterwards?
Through it all, it was as if God was showing me a fast-track version of what life looks like near the end. I really started to question what I pictured myself as fifty, sixty years down the line (God-willing that I make it that far). Was a comfortable retirement really how I saw myself at the end? Was that the place I envisioned and subconsciously planned for and expected? I felt like God was saying to me “Haven’t you learned yet that there’s nothing like the emptiness and hollow void you get after getting exactly what you insatiably desired?” All this contemplating led to a nagging feeling that arose and persisted the more I observed at the Home and read my Bible.
This type of nagging feeling happens every time I am trying to reconcile something I want to be true with what the Bible is actually saying (which is usually the opposite of what I want to hear). This feeling usually demands a change in me, either in mind, action, or both.
Upon further reflection and Bible-reading, I have really come to question the type of retirement lifestyle that is promoted and expected in our society, and perhaps the idea of comfort in general. From my reading and thinking, it seems logical to me that as you get older, you should be even more on fire for God; because you know, you’re nearing the end and it certainly won’t be long till you meet your Maker. And yet what I see being encouraged by society and others around me is instead, settling into a comfortable environment to await your Heavenly reward when your Earthly fight isn’t even over yet!
From what Paul and the apostles wrote, I have a hard time believe that they slowed down and took the easy route as they got older. In fact, it seemed as if they sped up, and were even more on fire for God in their later years than their former, since they knew they would see God sooner than ever. Paul, in his first letter to the Corinthians, compares his journey in faith to that of a runner, running to win a race (9:24). He is stretching, straining, disciplining his body and exerting all that’s in him for an eternal prize (9:27). He reuses this analogy again in his letter to the Philippians when he reiterates his focus. He pushes past things that have happened before and looks towards the future as he keeps on pressing forward toward the goal of eternity in Christ Jesus (3:14). In fact, he even says in Acts:
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace. (20:24, emphasis added)
Lastly, near the end of his life Paul takes up this analogy again when he knows he is to be executed soon. In his second letter to young Timothy, he states:
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing. (4:7-8, emphasis added)
Paul, after going through numerous trials and tortures, (And
there were many! See 2 Corin 11:16-33 if you ever want to be
humbled) seemed to be on fire as ever, as he pursued not worldly pleasures and
gain, but rather placed his investments on Heavenly rewards and the crown of
righteousness that awaits him in Heaven for all that he’s doing for the Kingdom
of God here on earth. To me, that exemplifies someone that never gave up the
fight, even till his last breath. His retirement came after he died, not while
he was still on earth.
Now, I want to clarify that I’m not opposed to retirement from a
line of work or a profession. I think in due time, it is necessary to act
according to your physical and mental ability and limits. And I certainly do
recognize that as we age, our bodies and minds do deteriorate naturally. I also
want to be sensitive here and recognize that there are some who experience
physical or mental disabilities that certainly do require the attention and
care of professionals. I do not mean to condemn anyone or appear insensitive
without knowing people’s personal situation and story.
But what I am opposed to (and what I observe as generally
accepted in my contemporary Christian community) is the idea of simply
‘retiring’ from your due diligence as a Christian simply because of your age,
whether young (1 Tim 4:12)
or old. The truth is, the more I study of Scripture and the more I get to know
God, I recognize that in the end, we are not able to offer any justifiable
excuse for living our life in any lesser way that what God has required of us.
This goes not only for age, but also for class, race, sex,
health, and everything else that supposedly makes us “an exception”. I think
God calls everyone to the same calling of knowing Him, loving Him, and doing
what He’s commanded. He deserves these things from us simply because He is God
and our Maker and Judge. So in all of this, how can age be an excuse for doing
less, and settling down God’s work? Although admittedly I would love it
if things were easier, I do know that if I want to share in His glory, I have
to fight the good fight till the very end.
Anyhow, about half a year later, I left my job at the Home in
pursuit of employment more related to my program of study at school, but I am
ever so grateful that in the short half year that I was there, God taught me
the invaluable lessons of time and death. It has made me think of things
differently, and has challenged what I thought was ‘normal’, with what I now believe is more biblical and truthful – albeit more uncomfortable to face since
it demands a change in me. But that’s what’s so awesome about God, He keeps on
changing us, molding us and making us better from the work that He had already
begun (Phil 1:6)
- if only we’ll let him! Thanks God ☺
I hope to end this post with a psalm by King David that I think
best sums up my sentiments and my heartfelt prayer for myself and you, dear
reader:
“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered—
how fleeting my life is.
5 You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath.”
6 We are merely moving shadows,
and all our busy
rushing ends in nothing.
We heap up wealth,
not knowing who will spend it.
7 And so, Lord, where do I put my hope?
My only hope is in you.
- Psalm 39:4-7
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